2 Sam 12: 20-23: “Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.
His attendants asked him, “Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!”
He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”
I’d like to share with you that it’s never too late to know the truth about abortion…I asked my father at 85 years old to translate my “Life After Abortion Video and Workbook” into spanish, knowing that he, along with my 81 year old mother would need to read a spanish-english Bible for scriptural translations, as well as watch the video where they viewed for the first time an ultrasound of a baby in the womb (FYI- both my parents were pro-choice all their lives).
At the completion of the translation, my dad (who was a war hero & a stoic man) told me he and mom had finished the work and then began to tear up, confessing that after reading the Scriptures on the “Life” issue, viewing the ultrasound of the baby, as well as hearing the testimonies found in the video of so many women who regretted their abortions until receiving forgiveness, that he and my mother were both now pro-Life… and then his tears started to run down his face as he expressed how sorry he and my mom were when I went to them for advice in my early twenties about the abortion issue:
Excerpt from “Surviving Myself”, my autobiography:
“In 1974, I was told that my pregnancy was just a blob of tissue in my uterus up to three months gestation…“Abortion is like passing a heavy period, that’s all.”…“It’s not a real baby or individual.”…“It’s just a mistake, an inconvenience.”…“There are too many people in the world as it is.”…“One has no moral responsibility to a blob of tissue.”…“It’s just a microscopic entity without a name or a face.”…“It’s nobody.”
Ignorance on my part about the statements was a weak excuse, but, at the time, an accurate one. Despite all the overwhelming pressure from Craig, I was pitiful in my inability to stand up against someone else’s reasoning, no matter how powerful he happened to be. Bottom line, I buckled in fear. I didn’t know where to find the strength necessary to defend my baby or my heart. Deep down, I knew my abortion was wrong, even when everyone was saying it was legal and moral: After all, I was already a Mom, and at some point every single one of us started out as a few cells. Yes, I hated myself, no question. My scars were more than physical, they tore deep into my heart, and I knew I wouldn’t recover from them.
And nothing was recognized, understood, grieved or healed.”
Excerpt from “You’re Not Alone- Healing Through God’s Grace After Abortion”:
“As I stood frozen in the bitter cold just below the Supreme Court steps in Washington, D.C., I watched my breath crystalize before me in puffs reminiscent of The Little Engine That Could. Haloed by media lights that cut through the encroaching night fall, I felt quite surreal. My feet ached as they had when I was a child after too much ice skating, my numbed hands clinched around a three-foot poster held tightly against my chest. Its message, “I regret My Abortion…Silent No More,” in bold letters framed in black, left little to interpretation.
Looking around to see if I was dreaming, I was surprised to feel my heart pounding out a nervous rhythm through the layers of clothing that failed to stave off the offensive cold. You see, my story of abortion had been out for a while. Well beyond late-night confession with friends, it had been pressed for public consumption on the pages of my first two books, framed in my testimony at gatherings in churches and conferences, told on TV talk shows, and written across newspaper and magazine articles. Once my secret was “out,” the theme of my years of bondage began to change, to resolve and to further heal in Christ. I knew that I was ultimately responsible- my misguided path had been directed by my choices, choices often made under pressure from others- choices that spawned destructive consequences that carried my signature.
I inhaled deeply, breaking my shallow breathing as I took solace in the presence of more than sixty other women from across America in line with me, holding flickering candles along with their posters displaying the same unyielding message: “I Regret My Abortion.” Eyes shined with hope, despite their pasts filled with indescribable pain. Braving the harsh elements that night, these women would not be deterred from their tales of truth. Thank God, I was not alone.
Who would have ever imagined that this group, just a small percentage of those hurt by abortion, would be able, through grace and fellowship, to prevail and be “silent no more”? These women were all post-abortive and personally knew the truth that abortion was not a “quick fix,” a “simple procedure,” or an “answer to their problems.” Neither was it true that there was “no loss,” “nothing to grieve,” and that abortion was merely an “inconvenience.” Of course, our lost babies were the cornerstone of concern for all who stood there that night. Still, the carnage did not end with those robbed of life before it began.
So there we were that frosty night in the capital, one at a time telling of the toll abortion had claimed on our lives. Although each of the ladies’ stories was as personal as her DNA, the common thread of robbed existences and broken hearts wove a clear and honest lament: Abortion hurts women…deeply, profoundly, emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and, yes, sometimes fatally.
That night I felt comfort in knowing that I was not the only one who, for so many years, hadn’t made the connection between my abortion experience and my ongoing depressions, self-revulsion, addictive/destructive behaviors, failed relationships, and that deep abiding unrest that haunted me night and day. I was not the only one who wondered about her lost child…What might he or she have looked like, or who might he or she have become? There was comfort in knowing that I was not alone in my wrestling matches with choking sadness that frequently transformed into demons of fear, anger, mistrust and feelings of abandonment. But that comfort didn’t help soften the realization that the damage did not stop with me; my painful behavior affected everyone around me. And although for decades I have achieved acclaim without hesitation, living a life many would envy on the surface (fame, fortune, glamour, etc.), I was, in truth, the poster child for the saying, “You can’t judge a book by its cover.”
Still, by the grace of God, there I was at fifty-four years old, in Washington, D.C., the spokesperson for the “National Silent No More Awareness Campaign,” its message poured out by brave post abortive women encouraged by God’s love. Yes, those of us gathered that night had come full circle from the walking wounded to wholeness and healing through the blood of Jesus Christ on the cross, the power of the Holy Spirit and God’s amazing grace. And yes, we wanted to spread the good news of hope to all.
I didn’t find my faith in Jesus Christ until I was thirty-eight years old, and it took me years after that to begin to really believe God did love me as I was. With that realization, it was time to stop numbing and denying the truth that beckoned me. That night I profoundly understood that I was not alone in the nightmare of abortion, nor was I alone in the healing process of abortion. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18”
None of us have arrived at the place of our pain overnight, nor will we fully heal without addressing each of our issues, every step of the way. But I can assure you that if you take the first step, unlock your heart just a crack, let even a sliver of light in, the darkness will withdraw because darkness (shame, secrets, guilt, confusion, condemnation, fear and anger) will scamper away at the first light of God’s love and truth. Discouragement is yesterday’s poison, and not of the Lord. Praise God! “But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. Psalm 13:5”
The stories of those women who attended the first “Silent No More” vigil in 2003 may sound familiar to you. All of our stories are different, but all involve the link of abortion. Many thanks go to these ladies for their testimonies from the heart, as well as their willingness to be transparent for the sake of others!”
Excerpt from “From Fallen to Forgiven”:
“I began to focus the text on the overwhelming need for healing in all our lives. By the way, I am never in a roomful of women, churched or not, without knowing in my heart that I am surrounded by many with unresolved, unforgiven, unhealed issues. The battle scars cover areas from abortion, sexual abuse, unfulfilled and deceitful relationships of all kinds, to anger, depression, and addictions all wrapped up in denials of every flavor. The need for all of us to recognize our hurts and heal these areas is imperative for a healthy, happy, spiritually successful life of wholeness and purpose. But how? I wanted healing for myself as well as for every woman sitting in front of me. I wanted healing for my children, my family, and my friends. I wanted healing for people I might never meet personally. More importantly, God says He wants healing for every one of His children. It was then that He showed me how, and the title of the book was once and for all changed to From Fallen to Forgiven. Forgiveness and healing are God’s desires and message to all of us!”
Recently, there was another March on Washington that was filled with angry individuals protesting a myriad of issues from the right to terminate babies by abortion, to celebrity Madonna stating that she wanted to “blow up the White House”, along with Ashley Judd comparing Trump to Adolf Hitler; “I feel Hitler in these streets, Nazis renamed.” And then there were those lewd and shocking comments from others, all highly reported by our national news outlets.
God tells us in His Word, in 2 Chronicles 7:14 that “if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”
John 8:32 tells us, “then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
1 Corinthians 13:2
I lovingly lift up this country, its leaders, and its people in fervent prayer of hope and healing and unity in Jesus’ Name.
Grace and peace, Jen